Self Caring in Self Isolation
- Yolanda
- May 6, 2020
- 9 min read
Updated: Jun 9, 2020
A note from the author:
I have had in mind to write something regarding our current climate, but ironically I have been waiting until I was in a more solid mindset before I settled by fingertips onto this keyboard. Because, like so much of the world right now, my mental health has been somewhat unsteady since this all began to bleed across the planet.
If the past months in quarantine have taught me anything, it’s the power of counting your blessings and focussing on any positive aspects of your situation. I’ve learned that this can be the difference between keeping yourself afloat and sinking into the increasing darkness. The latter is where no one wants to spend any time, but of course many of us find an inexplicable force pulling us further away from air, and it is times like these – where fear and uncertainty circulate us – that said force feels ever stronger, as well as difficult to locate underneath our feet. In many ways, I have realised, it much-resembles the virus itself, floating in undetected until you begin to feel the effects from an unlocatable angle. But rest assured we do have the power to uphold and maintain our peace of mind, it’s simply about spending time with yourself and understanding what calms your tides and enables you to feel at ease – even just for a moment – and following that back up to the surface.
This subsequent blog is a gentle guide of understanding that can hopefully lead you up to some light if you are feeling yourself down and lost, unsettled, uneasy or closer to the dark than you wish. Or, perhaps you are doing ok so far: maybe you have a hold of your peace of mind and you simply want to read something uplifting to help you stay on that higher level, or to induce some inspiration. Either way, I hope I can help to bring a small dose of positivity amidst this unprecedented climate we all find ourselves in.
It is my wish – whatever your situation may be – that you be reminded, however you are feeling, that you are surrounded by millions that are feeling the same way. At a time when we all feel isolated and separated, in actuality we have never been less alone: at what other time in history has the entire planet been unified in this way? We are all bound by this common ground.
If there is any silver lining these strange times could bring to us as a unified human race, I hope it will be the shedding of light on the elements of our lives that matter most; our health, our family and friends and loved ones, access to food to keep us alive, and the ability to go outside and appreciate nature. It may be that we all learn to pause, adjust our zoom and focus on what truly matters: to see the bigger picture and gain a more meaningful perspective on our lives. I suppose time will tell what changes will come of these circumstances, but in the meantime: stay safe in your home, protect your health like the precious gift that it is, and trust that there is another side to this storm, and we are all braving it together.
Now facing limitations outside - venture inside
I don’t mean venturing from your living room to your kitchen, while that may seem the most exciting trip we have had on offer in recent weeks (my kettle has never had so much action). I’m talking about getting re-acquainted with your most trustee quarantine company: yourself. There are a handful of habits I have practiced implementing in my everyday life, tracing back just over a year, and I know for sure that the ways they have helped me are needed among us all now more than ever. They’re not revolutionary, in fact it is likely you have heard their mention plenty of times.
While we can no longer explore the outside to the extents we used to, why not take some time - seeing as many of us have plenty of it free these days - to venture inward instead? It may be you discover personal growth and increased self-awareness, now at a time when it seems to be needed most.
Uncertain times bring new and strange feelings of unsteadiness and anxiety, both likely to be among many emotions you’re feeling. Dabble in any one of these simple practices and discover how you can quiet those deafening tones of anxiety; take back control of your own peace of mind.
Meditation and Mindfulness Practice
As a society we are growing increasingly aware of the power of these two magical concepts combatting our busy modern lifestyles. Now, in a time when life as we know it has come to a forceful halt, is the perfect time to take stock and re-wire: allow ourselves to venture a new avenue of living, one that offers calm and peace; allows us to understand our own hectic minds better and teaches us how to live a more controlled and stress-free life.
There are many fantastic apps, such as Headspace or Calm to name a couple of my personal favourites, that guide you down this avenue with ease and peaceful support.
Despite what you may think, meditation and mindfulness isn't necessarily sitting cross-legged 'omm-ing' with your eyes closed. It’s simple about anchoring your attention to your breathing: the most calming tool we possess, a tool that’s completely free, we just need to learn how to use it. Next time you feel your thoughts spinning or anxiety growing more intense, focus on your breathing. Notice the rise and fall of your ribs, the sensations of the air against your nostrils or lips, and recognise the rhythm – you may find you were breathing too fast, or even holding your breath.
Learn how to centre yourself, calm your mind and focus on each present moment that greets you. At a time where many of us feel thrown amidst so much fear and uncertainty, this is a practice that we need more than ever. Contemplating the future likely gives way to heightened anxiety through fear of the unknown, and looking back may induce a longing for what is no longer here. So, what’s left? Making the most of the present.
I promise it can help you. I know from practicing myself.
Journaling
Our routines have been thrown into disarray and we find ourselves at a loss during our waking hours. Plus, the news is swamped with reports of death tolls and film clips following the weary NHS staff, individuals who have lost their loved ones are being interviewed through watery-eyed video conferencing, and we are all being consistently reminded of how fearful we should be to step outside. Untameable thoughts of fear and anxiety are often left to run riot in an unoccupied mind, left aimless with the disruption of routine.
Whether you’re struggling with sleep at night or fumbling around for things to pin your focus to in the waking hours, it is completely inevitable for you to feel you have been uprooted and left vulnerable.
Journaling is one of the most powerful tools of uncovering buried emotions and unveiling the ways in which we can help ourselves. A Cambridge University study conducted in 2005 concluded that writing about emotional events greatly improves both our mental and physical health. They found that participants who wrote about any traumatic events in their lives, for fifteen minutes on 3-5 occasions, were significantly less affected by the trauma than their non-journaling peers.
Kathleen Adams, LPC, a Colorado-based psychotherapist and author of Journal to the Self explained to the Huff Post in 2017 that “Journal therapy is all about using personal material as a way of documenting an experience, and learning more about yourself in the process”. She explained that the long-term benefit of the practice comes from how “it lets us say what's on our minds and helps us get -- and stay -- healthy through listening to our inner desires and needs."
Whatever your living situation during these times of quarantine, I can promise journaling will be a huge comfort to you. Just grab a notebook or exercise book that you have there at home – or maybe treat yourself and order one online - and just vent about everything you are feeling in those moments: no words you write down can be insignificant.
It’s the cheapest form of therapy around; it won’t question or judge you. It’s just you and the paper and pen, for your eyes and mind only. Free write and see what floods from your fingers, then close the book and see how you feel afterwards. You can thank me then.
Music
It’s no secret the positive influence music can have on our mood, and for this very reason music therapies are often used to help promote emotional health and well-being, as well as to aid sleep, manage physical pain, and relieve stress. A study carried out in 2015 found music to have an incredibly positive impact on low mental health, concluding it effectively helps to alleviate depression and anxiety.
A 2009 study also found that the genre of music is an additional influence over the way tunes impact your mood, evidence pointing towards classical and meditation music as having to most positive effects.
So, whether you are feeling struggle as deep as depression, or you are just needing an elevation in your mood, reach for those headphones, or better yet – blast it out and dance around your kitchen! (Dance is another mood-booster, by the way, proving to reduce stress, anxiety and depression through encouraging you to ‘let loose’ and get out of your head.) Maybe sit aside one afternoon and create a playlist that will best-soothe you, whether that’s an up-beat dance series for the entertainment of your house appliances, or to allow a release of negativity and welcome relaxation.
Yoga
Whispers of the power in yoga for calming the mind and elevating physical health have likely crossed your path a few times in your daily life, most frequently via the media I can imagine. Me too, for years. I began to practice when going through a rather dark and whirring period in my life; searching for calm in the storm.
Yoga became my saving grace, a true salvation and simply the purest form of therapy: it’s simply your mind being reminded by your body of your inner strength and your ability to support yourself, at the centre of any storm you may be weathering, and instead of feeling wind-swept and beaten you feel calm through that strength and control.
Yoga also happens to be a very effective form of exercise: toning your muscles and promoting healthy blood flow to make for improved body function and strength as well as mental clarity and emotional stability. During a time where many of us are bound to our homes and inhibited as to our activity, it’s never been more important to be promoting thriving health, both physically and mentally. Fortunately, yoga can take care of both of these.
There are many sources of guides and tutorials and teachings all over the internet, YouTube being an easy hub of thousands of free videos. ‘Yoga with Adriene’ has personally taken care of me since I was a beginner having never set foot on a mat, and she remains my go-to teacher, but you have endless resources at your disposal.
If you don’t have a Yoga mat – don’t worry, a blanket is fine. If you do, great! If you want one, the internet is filled with endless options to order, and Yoga Journal are among those who have gone and found you some of the best ones out there – recommended by the experts.
Take a segment of time out of the day for yourself, stick on your tutorial video if you have chosen one, and focus on your body and mind. Witness and notice, feel and experiment, relax into the safety of it, allow worries and tension to melt away. If you are not wanting to revisit that space after your first session, I’ll eat my mat!
Our minds are often like toddlers, wandering off in all manner of unanticipated directions and often running riot the more hectic things become. Taking tentative care of ourselves during these months will not only help to alleviate mental health struggles in the short term, but can also evolve into habits, and thereby become a journey of self-growth that will continue into a new, steady and calmer way of life.
Aligning and connecting with mindfulness meditation, practicing self-care habits like journaling, yoga and becoming immersed in music can help you to learn how to put some reigns on your untamed mind, and be settled in such calming awareness that you can notice as soon as your mind feels unsettled or begins to pick up its pace to run. You can sit in stillness, gently bring it back to peace, and with that be re-affirmed of your own strength in supporting yourself. You’ve got you – and that’s all you need to trust in.
These times will one day all be in the past and exist only in our memories. Until then, focus your precious time and energy on your blessings. There are always plenty of them, many being small and sometimes going unnoticed – hidden in the thumbed pages of a novel or in the smell of your morning coffee; in the sunshine magnifying through your windows or the familiar intro of your favourite TV series (queue ‘Friends’ theme-tune). When you’re looking for them, you’ll find your blessings sprinkled around you every day, and I hope you absorb them in all their beauty and allow them to carry you through your day.
Stay safe, stay well, stay strong: we are drawing ever-closer to clearer days.
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